My head has been spinning these past few weeks. I’m not physically busy, but there’s so many things going on in my head. With the upcoming ART EXCHANGE event and plans to grow the business, I find it difficult to rest my mind.
As a result, I was a mess after a meeting this morning. I was in the middle of construction plans and negotiating deals, I found myself emotionally affected and unable to think straight. It was not good. In fact, I’ve had another incident similar but much much worse 3 weeks ago. I was sitting on a chair in Makati City Hall, crying so badly that I couldn’t talk. One sympathetic stranger even asked if I was pregnant, trying to blame my lack of restraint on hormones. I’m definitely not pregnant, and my City Hall problems is for another story. I hope this does not become a thing.
ANYWAY. In my post-processing of thoughts, I suddenly remember my retreat experience 2 years ago. It was an all-women’s retreat in church, held in MMRC Laguna. In one of the activities, we had to spend time listening to God. That was very interesting to me because when I pray, I’m the one doing the talking and the thinking.
“God, thank you for… God, please help me in… God, what do you think of…?”
There’s not really much time dedicated to silence my mind and wait for a reply! Though a whole chunk of me was doubtful and bit was expectant to hear a voice, I sat in one of the nipa huts and listened.
Mostly I just heard the wind. But every now and then I write whatever comes into mind. A lot of very random words.
Towards the end of the exercise, my friends and I started to compare notes. I wrote one statement that still strikes me today. “Write for Me”. Whether it’s something my mind just came up with or not, in my heart, I know that this is from God. And this is something that I want to do too.
It is interesting that this is what came to mind after my stressful morning meeting. I have been mulling over the idea of making this part of the website more personal, but have been putting it off. Perhaps is the much needed nudge to put things into action. Now that I have encountered another significant incident, I feel that it’s time to start documenting my struggles and His faithfulness.
I have never been confident in turning my thoughts into written words. But God can choose to use ordinary people to give a message. Look at the ordinary fishermen in the bible!
When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus. Acts 4:13
So here I go! May I have the boldness of Peter and John. Please be kind.